Restraint

Your superego is a justice system in your brain. It restrains impulsive and unethical behavior. It regulates your drives, fantasies, feelings, and actions. It mediates between right and wrong, regulates your moral and ethical standards, and obstructs your need for instant gratification. It punishes your misbehavior with feelings of guilt. It encourages you to act with moderation, self-control, and self-discipline.

If you are unable to evenly distribute your time, energy, or attention among your interests, you may slip into irritability, anger, depression, and risky behaviors. You resent a situation or feel personally attacked, and wish to eliminate the source of your stress, or you may sense danger where none exists. If you examine your intensely expressed anger, you may find that it arises from deep insecurity and heightened sensitivity.

When perceiving a threat, do you feel truly “attacked”, or are you simply feeling inconvenienced, embarrassed, impatient, or selfish? Relax if possible, and think it through. Ask yourself, “What do I fear? Am I being hypocritical? Do I truly understand the other party’s point of view? What is the evidence for my stance? How am I reacting?” Weigh your options and their possible consequences. Select the most appropriate option and use a measured, regulated response. Review the entire experience later, gaining insight to guide your future behavior.

We are constrained by the laws, rules, policies, conventions, norms, customs, ethics, virtues, morals, attitudes, worldviews, philosophies, ideals, values, and beliefs of others. We must learn appropriate ways to manage frustration and express our unique character. As you mature, you will adapt within constraints and gain good judgment. When in provocative situations, you will monitor and consciously manage your response. If you understand yourself, you will regulate your reactivity.

Avoid overreaction to contribute to a more just and harmonious world. Your humanity is best expressed when you are calm, focused, and purposeful.

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ꟷWill Walsh ©2020