THE AMATEUR

Into the steam locomotive did jump
A new so-called engineer: Donald Trump.
No matter his first time drivin’ a train:
He felt qualified, ‘cause he won his campaign.
Yelled to the platform, “Don’t need no crew -
They were very bad people!" as away he flew.

“I’m so tough, I’ll shovel this coal!
I promise you – I'll attain my goal!”
(With no plan [unknown as to when, how or where].
Destination? Wouldn’t know even if he were there.)
“Nonstop, I alone will drive this big freight!
It’ll be bigger, and better, and once again great!”

The behemoth streaked wildly down the track
Rocketing recklessly, wheels clickety-clack.
Though media and Dems cited adverse polls,
The Donald relentlessly stoked his hot coals,
Shoveling the anthracite, yanking the whistle,
Becoming more manic while aiming this missile.
 
Seventy, eighty, ninety miles per –
In the cab an unqualified rank amateur.
Around each bend he did wildly careen
Then exceeded the limits of his overstressed machine.

After the crash, what survived was his hair:
Still perfectly coiffed on the old billionnaire.
We later discovered his very last Tweet:
“I’m speeding ahead and to hell with the heat!
I know what’s best! I know what to do!
The wheels have come off, but I'm still gonna sue!”

–Will Walsh   2017